Sometimes I don't know myself anymore. What I used to like or do has changed. What my motivations are have changed. Now how am I supposed to figure myself out all over again. It took me ?? years to figure myself out before. I'm not sure I want to start all over again.
What brought this on? The blog post, I mean, not the change because I don't have a clue about that. No, what brought this subject on my post about. Well, Rocky went hunting this morning. He will be gone a couple of days. This has always been the times I have looked forward to. I could have a little "me" time. I could clean the house and it will stay clean. I can read, scrapbook, sew, or whatever to my hearts content and have no interruptons. But how do I feel now? I feel no motivation to do any of that. I just want him home. I want him to interrupt me for a kiss or to ask me to go with him out to feed the calves. I want to know he is right there in the other room if I have a thought I want to share with him.
It isn't that I'm not okay. I want him to go and do what he loves to do. I am fine with coming home and doing my own thing. But WHY don't I love it anymore?
1 comment:
It IS different when those things change.... Always a hard adjustment. But I guess that's how we become more 'us' and learn who we are :) It's SUCH a pain sometimes though :)
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