CHANGE

Everybody has change in their life. All the time. In some ways it can be exciting and new. In some ways it is scary and sad. And then there are those times that more than one change is happening at the same time. That is where I am at right now. Some of the changes are exciting and new. Some of them are scary and sad. And one of them is both.

My issue is how do you deal with this because I am not really doing it very well. But I am learning. (Wow, I really love this green color. It is my favorite color so that shouldn't surprise me)

Here are a few things I have learned so far. But I am missing something because I have a long way to go in the coping part.

1. Talk to people who care about what you are going through.

2. Write down some of your fears and frustrations. (DO NOT send them to anyone. Even if they care they won't know what to do with that)

3. Pray a lot.

4. Read your scriptures.

5. Exercise.

As I said, this is not a complete list. They are just some things that have helped me through this process.

New Years Resolution

I have always had a different opinion of the whole New Years Resolution thing. I don't see the point of it. I have just felt that you see something you need to do to improve, then you set a goal to do that. It is an ongoing thing. You don't need a new year to make it happen.

Our Relief Society had a great idea this year that I like much better. They had us make a Bucket List. Now this isn't a list to do before you kick the bucket. It is a list to do before this year kicks the bucket. I had a lot of fun with this. I am going to try to do all the fun things on my list this year.

Now with all that being said, what did I do this morning? I set a New Year's Resolution. Go figure. I don't think I am going to tell anyone what it is because it is something I should have done a long time ago. But I get it now. The new year gives you a chance to start new.

Riggin

The best dog I have ever had or will ever have has gone from my life as of yesterday. Wow,
I did not expect the incredible sadness that I am experiencing. I have been trying to prepare myself and I thought I had. I expected a couple of months ago to come home any day and find him gone, but it didn't happen. But I knew if he got sick again, it would probably be the end. He got sick and it was the end for him.
Riggin was 15 years old. That is much older than most dogs of his breed live. I am thankful that he lived to see Ryan again. And he was here for Ryan for a while. But he was getting so old and he hurt. He couldn't run as much as he would have liked. He was going blind and he was getting deaf. As much as I hated to see those things happen, he still acted happy to be alive. He liked to jump around even though he fell half of the time. He loved going out to feed with me.
Every day, almost, of those 15 years I took care of Riggin. I saw him every day that I was home. We took him with us a couple of times. The last time was the first Christmas that Ryan was gone on his mission. We went to Kristi's and took him with us. I am happy for that memory. But every day he was part of my life. Every time I walked in the door he was there to greet me. That is what has left a big hole in my life and in my heart.
I started a journal today just to write my memories of him and of his life. I hope that helps me. I know I will be okay, but the pain is awful. I MISS him so much.