Okay, I Know I'm Not a Marriage Counselor

A very dear friend of mine just got word that her daughter's husband has decided that he is unhappy in the marriage and he wants to start a new life without her. This is very heartbreaking because there are 4 children involved. In fact it stinks. I know I am not a marriage counselor, but I have been married for 36 years and I am still happy and I am pretty sure that he is and I have had some very good examples of marriage with my grandparents, parents, and Rocky's parents. This much I do know. You can avoid this kind of thing. Just a few things that have been running around in my head. Here they are:
1. When you get married decide that it is forever and there is no getting "out" except in exteme unforseen cases. (However, choosing a mate should be done very very carefully. Make sure you know them well.)
2. When you feel that the marriage is lacking and heading the wrong way, CORRECT IT IMMEDIATELY. Do whatever it takes, counseling, prayer, time alone with your spouse, etc.
3. Speaking of prayer, do it often. It really works and it helps you know what to do about any given situation.
4. Don't always blame everything on your mate. Own up to what you need to do to improve., In fact I have discovered that if I only concentrate on my own faults and shortcomings and try to improve them, it miraculously changes every thing.
5. Make your mate the most important person in your life, even before your kids.
6. Spend time with your mate alone. You have to nourish your relationship. It won't do it on its own.
7. Communicate, communicate, communitcate.
8. Tell your spouse you love them daily.
9. Often sit and think of all the good qualities that your spouse has. Don't ever dwell on his or her shortcomings.
10. Live righteously so that you have the spirit to guide you.

Now I am not saying that my friends daughter was lacking in any way. She was totally willing to work on the marriage, get counseling, whatever it would take. My comments are directed at him since he claims he just wasn't happy. You can't blame your unhappiness on other people. You have to find it within yourself and if you don't your next relationship will be just as unhappy. But noone has to listen to me because I am NOT a marriage counselor.